Nostalgia

So I went to Joelle's birthday party tonight. I haven't seen that group of people in a very long time (well I saw Joelle at Jeff's not too long ago - but the rest). I went because I knew that there would be a large group of people that would be excited to see me. I was right. It was super nice hearing "Caitlin! I haven't seen you in forever!" and having good conversation with old friends.

But of course, as usual, there was the one person who I didn't know what it would be like to talk to again. And I tell ya, it's weird having good conversation with someone, and forcing yourself to remember all the shitty things about that person so that you don't enjoy the conversation that much. And when they kiss you on the cheek, and later they put their arm around you and kiss you on the temple, your brain is SCREAMING at you going "HEY! Remember the times that he fucked you over?! THAT SUCKED!" and you sigh and take your arm away from around his waist and go talk to someone else for a while because you've grown up enough to recognize a shitty situation and back out of it.

But you still wonder...

I hate it. But that dude still fucks with my world.