My cats are nice

Have you ever written a letter/email/facebook message to someone without the intention of sending it? Its very therapeutic. Except you don't really get any feedback. It helps to lay those things out though. To organize them even into words clarifies things. The question now though, is do I send it?

Bleh - this week has made me very nervous. Right now my chest feels heavy and my stomach hurts. I can't tell if its anxiety or gas. Or anxiety-caused gas. Or heartburn (which is also a result of gas I believe). I'm obsessively checking my email just waiting to hear if the UT school of communications will accept me or reject me. If they accept me, I have no choice but to work my ass off for the next year and graduate. No, I don't really have the time or desire to take 12-15 hours of classes for two semesters and a summer, but I've fought long and hard to get into that department and if they give me the chance, I'm gonna take it. If they don't though, then I feel like an asshole. I hate school, I really do. I don't want to go anymore. But I don't really like the stigma of being a "college dropout." I've never been one to care about stigmas or what other people think of my actions, but I'm just worried I'll be judged later on down the line (not in a death sense - I don't believe in that bullllshit). If I were to ever be denied something strictly on the basis that I didn't finish college - UGH - that would really piss me off. Mainly because I still stand by that there are far more important things than GPA and classes that you took, but still, for someone to set up that barrier for me? That's mean. And unfair. To think that someone like John Bradley (hypothetical real person) could get a position over me because he finished the RTF program and I didn't? Ridiculous! Even personality should get you farther than that - and not to sound pretentious - but I've got that guy beat a million fold.

I wish they would just email me already.