Dream sequence?

I woke up at 8am thirsty and crampy so I stayed up for a couple of hours to heal both ailments. Smoked a lil bit (hey, it's Sunday) and passed back out around 10:30 and preceded to have a dream that kind of fucked with my whole day.

I was thinking about it earlier, and talking to Christi about it, and I realize that I was too focused on what happened in the dream, when I should have been focusing more on how I felt.

The dream played off a lot of my fears actually. Lots of rejection, insults, being ignored by good friends, moving back in with my dad, and overall, just not being the one who comes out on top.

Anyway, I was kind of stressed out all day, and almost convinced that the dream would be real once I saw the people that were in it. I was literally nervous about going out, but I quickly realized that it was only a dream. Nothing to be nervous about.

I'm not sure why I dreamed about all of this, as I haven't necessarily been feeling insecure lately, and I don't know why I'm being kind of cryptic in talking about it, as I decided that I wanted to be really honest in this blog. I just think it's something that I need to ignore and put out of my head, or I'll just dive too far into it and freak myself out. I'm prone to doing things like that. My dreams aren't real.
And it's a damn good thing.

I leave for Amsterdam in 6 day and words cannot express how fucking excited I am to delve into unknown territory. I have no idea what I'm going to do, or who I'm going to meet. All I know is that for the next 6 days I will be eager as all get out! And then (after 1 day of travel) the next 6 days after that, I will be totally free. I get to have my own rules, and my own schedule. I can drink however much I want, and be non-sober all day. I can make out with as many cute Dutch boys I can find, and kick them out of my hotel room in the morning! And then, on the 14th, I will return renewed and refreshed (ideally).

Austin, I love you, but you're bringing me down.