How Sweet It Is

I don't really understand how I still, in my senior year of college, I still have to stay up all night studying and cramming for tests again and again in order to scrape by. Part of me says "well, if it works, why change it?" and the other part is SCREAMING "BECAUSE THERE ARE EASIER WAYS!" But I'm still a procrastinator by nature, and I still hate school, so I guess I'm just doing what I got to do! I just have to make it through December (DECEMBER 19TH MOTHERFUCKERS!) and I'll be done with this shit forever. Eight more months. I CAN DO THIS!

In other news, I'm fairly smitten. I was really concerned about being able to manage any sort of relationship with my current schedule (and lack of time management skills), but I think it's working. James has a job too, which helps. I dunno, I'm diggin' it.

Random note: the blind dude on American Idol creeps me out. I feel like he's staring through to my soul, and not in a romantic way, in a "I'm going to SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL!" way.

aw shit

Sometimes you just forget about how fun and exciting little moments can be - like 30 minute make outs in someones car that you really just started hanging out with the other day but they're just SO CUTE and you're like "damn - i totally was thinking about flirting with this guy a month ago and then I didn't even get a chance too then BOOM he starts flirting with me instead and NOW WE'RE TOTALLY MAKING OUT!"

ahhh - real good night

and it was so much better when that Ida Maria song "I Like You Better When You're Naked" song came on - it was just really funny.

Woo! I'm goin to bed! SXSW is about to get way more awesome than I thought it could possibly be.

Funny random memory

So I was "cleaning" my room (pushing clothes into one big pile instead of lots of tiny piles) and all the sudden a really random memory popped into my head.

Did I ever tell you about the time that I was at a guys place, we fooled around, he got up to use the bathroom and I put my hands under the pillow and found some chicks panties? I just put them back.

I don't really remember my reaction at the time. Actually, I think I rationalized it somehow. And then I completely put it out of mind. Remembering it now it's quite funny. Especially considering the dude (guess who!). hahaha... ridiculous...

Nostalgia

So I went to Joelle's birthday party tonight. I haven't seen that group of people in a very long time (well I saw Joelle at Jeff's not too long ago - but the rest). I went because I knew that there would be a large group of people that would be excited to see me. I was right. It was super nice hearing "Caitlin! I haven't seen you in forever!" and having good conversation with old friends.

But of course, as usual, there was the one person who I didn't know what it would be like to talk to again. And I tell ya, it's weird having good conversation with someone, and forcing yourself to remember all the shitty things about that person so that you don't enjoy the conversation that much. And when they kiss you on the cheek, and later they put their arm around you and kiss you on the temple, your brain is SCREAMING at you going "HEY! Remember the times that he fucked you over?! THAT SUCKED!" and you sigh and take your arm away from around his waist and go talk to someone else for a while because you've grown up enough to recognize a shitty situation and back out of it.

But you still wonder...

I hate it. But that dude still fucks with my world.

Nerd Alert!

Because I am a nerd, obsessed with this show, and will be talking more and more about pop and fan culture throughout the last year (!!!) of my college education, I will now be blogging about LOST throughout the season (and then some).

I just started it, so right now it's a recap/talkback of the premiere - I'll update on tonight's episode on Friday probably. I plan on doing research and analysis into the fandom and producer reactions later on.

So yeah, if you like Lost, and you like me, perhaps you will enjoy Lost Shmlost.



Bad shoes. Attractive boy.

UGH! Six hour headache!

Seriously - my head's been hurting for 6 hours. I'm blaming a lack of caffeine. I finally went to Whataburger and got food and a Dr. Pepper which I will then counteract with a Unisom. That's not the blogworthy part

I was on my way to get food, I was pretty sure I wanted Whataburger, but then a cop started following me. He was actually in the lane to my right, and then Whataburger was coming up on my right and I didn't want to accidentally cut the cop off cause I was nervous so I just kept going. I eventually got in front of him, went through a yellow light (cop still directly behind me, but whatevs, it was totally yellow), then turned right on Airport cause I thought, 'hey, I'll just go to Jack In The Box." As I turned, the cop slowed waaaay down like he was going to turn too, but then I looked back and he kept on going. Good, I thought, that would be dumb if he pulled me over for the yellow light and I'd be pissed cause my head REALLY HURTS and I'm hungry.

I decide I don't want Jack In The Box after all, so I turn to go back to Whataburger. As I pull into the drive way THE COP COMES OUT OF NOWHERE and BAM he's behind me and turns his lights on IN THE DRIVE THROUGH (I wasn't at the order board yet, though). He shines his stupid light at my car and it reflects in my side mirror and hurts my eyes (headache!) and I roll down the window. He asks for my license and registration, I say "Wait, whyyy are you here?" Apparently my registration is expired, I didn't know. He asks where I live and if I was lost. No, I was in the drive through, I'm pretty sure I intended to be there. He says "Well I saw you up on Airport a little while ago and you turned around, I thought that was very strange" - I say I was trying to decide what to eat for dinner. He asks why there's glass in my car (I'm getting irritated obviously - he's being a fuckin nosy nancy), I explain that someone broke into it. He asks if it's my car (I haven't showed him the insurance yet - that cleared that up obviously).

Favorite part. "Are you doing anything in the car I should know about?" - "What?" - "Anything illegal going on in the car I should know about?" - "What? No.. I left my house to get dinner, I'm in my pajamas, and I couldn't decide where to eat." I felt that was a simple explanation.

Anyway, he gave me a warning. Not even a written one. I think I made him feel stupid and weird for following me. I then preceded through the drive through to get some chicken strips and a Dr. Pepper. Oh, and I shit you not, the cop looked exactly like the fat cop from Super Troopers.

i hate blog titles

I think I've given myself a stomach ulcer. No, I'm not kidding or over exaggerating. Every time I eat I feel terribly nauseous (that has always been the hardest word for me to spell) and my stomach starts burning (between the breastbone and the navel - yes I looked that up on webmd) and I get all pukey. Drinking increases this problem. Apparently smoking does too. And so does stress (which has been aplenty).

I'm going to the doctor as soon as I register for classes (because I will do that now that I am OFFICIALLY AN RTF MAJOR!!! That's the first time I got excited about it - even in typing form) so that the doctor is free and that I don't have to break out my new health insurance yet (because I finally grew up and bought some).

I still feel terrible about Casey. Better than earlier though. I think I made the right decision on that. I think. I hope so. Bleh.